Some Random Quotes

Nice Forward Worth Sharing
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A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you. -Francoise Sagan

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is? I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. -Emo Philips

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds. -Joan Rivers

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
-Emo Philips

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. -Cary Grant

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting. - Gloria Leonard

Graze on my lips, and if those hills are dry, Stray lower where the pleasant
fountains lie. -William Shakespeare

A girl's legs are her best friends...but even the best of friends must part.-Redd Foxx

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein

I was told that when you hit forty men stop looking at you. It's true, until you slip on a mini-skirt. - Mariella Frostrup

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials. -Ronald Knox

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb. -Yul Brynner

It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
- Tallulah Bankhead

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who
hopes they are. - Chauncey Mitchell Depew

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman. - Alexandre Dumas

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. - Margaret Smith

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. - Bob Rubin

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don't worry about it at the right time. - Arthur Hoppe

There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. - Woody Allen

I am skilled at the art of love. I just wish I had a bigger paintbrush. - Scott E. Roeben